Sometimes people don’t want their partner to think they were “planning” on having sex since it seems more romantic for sex to “just happen.” But wanting to prevent the transmission of STDs is smart.
Being concerned about what others think keeps many teens from talking openly about sex and protection. Talking openly and honestly with a partner about condoms and planning ahead of time how to protect each other from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and/or pregnancy is important.
Ideally, you should talk about using protection, such as a condom, before you even start engaging in sexual behaviors. When you talk openly and honestly about your expectations, both you and your partner understand that if you do have sex, then you will be prepared to use protection.
When you talk about using a condom, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have committed to having sex. It just means that protecting your sexual health is important to you. Even if you have decided to have sex but then realize that sex doesn’t feel OK, you always have the right to say “no,” even at the last second. Partners need to respect the right of anyone at any time to change his or her mind.
If you find that it is difficult for you to talk openly and honestly with your partner about using a condom, you might want to think about whether it’s the right time for you to have sex. Using protection is part of having sex and is nothing to be ashamed of.